"You Were the One" Billy Joel

CONFESSIONS OF TRUST FUND BABY

I met Trust Fund in 7th and 8th grade choir. I thought all of the boys were cute back then. He was in 8th grade, I was in 7th, and our junior high went up to 9th grade. I didn't really get to know him until high school, where we both were in the top show choir. Trust Fund live in the coveted Eden Glen neighborhood and had a mansion. He also drove a camero and liked to play the soundtrack to Chess the musical (only because our showchoir director raved about it, so all the cool kids listened to it.)super loud. We never went out or dated but we spent a lot of time together-- I would sometimes sneak out of the house late on a school night and we would walk the streets, drinking coffee to stay awake. I think we both just wanted to escape our lives for a brief moment. Spending time with Trust Fund always felt like I was doing something daring-- on the verge of dangerous or lawless. I felt alive.

He would invite me over to feel his silk sheets, which I never did. He never told me what happened to his dad, and I didn't want to ask. As far as I knew, he never dated.

After high school he disappeared. No sign of him anywhere.

Until recently when I googled him and found a tiny blurb with a head shot of him, that devilish grin wearing a cashmere scarf. He is a real estate broker in New York. He looks exactly the same. Good for you, man. Good for you.

"Power to the People" John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band

POWER TO THE PEOPLE, RIGHT ON. And thank fucking God.

Here's hoping that you feel as relieved as I do.

I'm back at school for the next three days teaching for a friend of mine. They are reading flash fiction and then writing one of their own. It's good to be around people after having a couple of days at home. Here's one from The New Yorker:

"The Door Between Us"

Again, I pressed my ear against the wall, but I heard nothing./Why couldn't I have said something to her?/

I did get to see WILDWOOD. It was good, but didn't really stand up to the hype and the younger audience didn't get most of the jokes. Still, the characters were likeable and fit the Portland vibe for sure.

My scale is sitting at 118. It's been stuck there for 2 weeks now. Since the beginning of this journey, I have had to replace all of my clothes and am down from an XL to a Meduim pushing a Small. I feel good.

My girl is getting ready to run the Marathon on Saturday. I've got to get up there and cheer her on. Pretty proud of her for committing to this race. I wish I had it in me to run it as well; I'll stick to the Mini.

I am starting to get excited for the holidays. I was in a bit of a funk but I've turned a corner. How do you feel about them? I gather that they are a nusiance to you-- but when I see those Holiday cups at Starbies (came out today!) I cannot help myself.

Is it too soon to start playing Chirstmas music?

Hope you are well.

"Season of the Witch" Alanis Morissette

Boo.

I'm not in my witch phase, nor am I a crone. I am in The High Priestess phase. (Don't Judge!) It's a good place to be. You can read the wiki page or here's a short run down thanks to AI: The High Priestess tarot card represents intuition, inner knowledge, mystery, and the bridge between the conscious and subconscious minds. Numbered 2 in the Major Arcana, she invites you to pause, look past surface-level distractions, and trust your gut instinct Sounds like me right now.

How was your Halloween? Did you dress up in a last minute thought out costume and awkwardly stand around with others while drinking socially? I spent mine biting my fingernails at the Homecoming game where IU just eeked by for the win. I swear, these games bring on so much anxiety that it is hard to watch sometimes. Our QB was taken out at the half and things got a little better. But man, I miss last year's team. (But I'm sure you already know all of this...)

Daylight Savings Time is upon us, Thanks Mitch Daniels. I always find the change hard to adjust. And tomorrow would have been my 30th wedding anniversary. I can't beat myself up over that. It's not a regret so much as a feeling of failure, but when something is not right you have to trust the gut. (at least I do.)

I think I am going to start a fire to brighten up this gloomy day. I feel lazy today, which doesn't happen often, but I don't feel like a workout today. I'll work harder tomorrow.

Here's to a warm, fuzzy feeling Sunday, friend.

"quickly, quickly-- That's Enough For Me" Music Inspired by LAIKA's Wildwood

What a lovely song. I need to see this movie, me thinks. Take a listen, won't you? Have you noticed some people don't really smile when they are photographed. No teeth-- just a closed mouth and what feels like a shrug on their face. What does that mean? I look at photos and check the eyes and mouth for a story behind what is happening in that moment. What is being hidden? I delight in the person so elated and open that the joy is obvious on their face. Lately that has been me.

Today at the polls it was nonstop. As of 10/28 we have had of 14,500 voters-- 14.5% of the registered voters in MC. I hear tomorrow will be the biggest day-- but today was so intense I decided to get a beer at Upland after my shift just to chill.

A newly found friend (a fellow pool owner and extra from Little 5 Movie, plus I had his kid in class her senior year) came through voting today. It was so good to see him. I promised him I would get a pair of the Bad Bunny adidas shoes since he gave me the skinny on his. A lovely human.

Have loved every minute of this job. It has been an honor to do it.

Hope your smile when you read this is geniune-- grinning and full of love.

"The Better Part of Bravery" The Decemberists

From the newly released movie Wildwood,"based on the 2011 novel by Colin Meloy and Carson Ellis, the story follows a teenage girl named Prue McKeel (voiced by Peyton Elizabeth Lee) and her classmate Curtis (Jacob Tremblay) as they venture into a forbidden, magical forest outside Portland, Oregon. When a murder of crows abducts Prue's infant brother, Mac, she embarks on a high-stakes rescue mission into the deep, enchanted wilderness known as the Impassable Wilderness. Inside, they discover a realm torn apart by a coming war and factions of talking animals, mythical creatures, and a mysterious woman named Alexandra (Carey Mulligan) with a tragic past."

Good for you , Colin Meloy. Let's win best movie and score!

Hi!

The past few days have been simply beautiful outside. After this post I am going on a run just to be out in it. Only a few more days and then things will be cooler and my moods will start to get sad.

The polls have been jumping. We see over 1,000 people daily and as of 10/27, 13.7% of registered voters have voted. It makes my heart happy to see so many, but I know that Monroe County is different from everywhere else in the state.

It is dangerous to get my hopes up. So I'll try to be more careful.

I'm looking fwd to this weekend, Homecoming game where Big Sis and Bro in Law are coming down to see it. Nothing like IU Football right now. Campus is beautiful and this weekend will be glorious.

Have you voted yet? Stop in and see me sometime.

And for all my holding on/ I could not hold for long/ When I looked again, it had flown/ If only I'd sooner known/ The better part of bravery/ Is in the letting go/ Is in the letting go/ [Verse 4]/ Now I am old, full of wonderings/ I will not sate this quiet hungering/ The things we catch, the things best left alone/ And in that gloaming hour, I will homeward go/ And in the twilit light/ When the stars were the only light/ Turned to look again and it had gone/ Leaving me to ponder on/ The better part of bravery/ Is in the letting go/ Is in the letting go.

"Girlfriend is Better" Talking Heads

Back in the day I would work out to this album. This song was the ABs song. Not sure why I chose it for today but here it is.

Somebody calls you, but you cannot hear/ Get closer to be far away/ Only one look and that's all that it takes/ Maybe that's all that we need/ All that it takes, I'll bet it's right/ All it takes, if it's right/ I got a girlfriend that's better than that/ And she goes wherever she likes (there she goes)

I'm back at school today as the kids review for their Chemistry exam later this week. Hopefully they will be good for me. This teacher has a bearded dragon who has been going crazy, so I texted the teacher and she said to feed him 10-15 worms. He is a savage! I like when I have the teacher on speed dial and can fire off questions at will and they actually answer. This one has been awesome.

Sitting in the lunchroom with some of my pals listening to the gossip can be nuts. Today the talk was about a student who posted on instagram that she was raped back in August by another student.

And there were lots of details and bruising, bleeding and so on. So instead of going to the social worker to figure out how to deal, she decided to post it all on social media. And with the Cornell gang rape of 2024 back in the news, this thing is spreading like wildfire. It is never boring coming back here. But usually the news is cringy and sad.

I took in the leaves on a perfect fall day yesterday. Here are some shots. Happy Monday to you.

"Having Been is No Way To Be" Jeff Tweedy

I suppose you have figured it out by now that Jeff is my favorite. If not, now you know.

I was lucky enough to see him twice last year. Here's to many more shows.

Don't you hate it when you finally have a day where you can sleep in a little and you wake up at 4 AM? That was me today. I still have to work, but it's not until 9. Yesterday's stint at South was a good one. Good kids who did what they were supposed to. I have them again on Monday. It is always fun to go back to a place you once worked. Some kids still remember me. Others are getting to know me since I am there so frequently. I feel a little bit like a celebrity when I go back. The attention is a bit overwhelming but it's fine.

I am terrified of what is going to happen post election. I hate to think what that Monster is going to do if we go Blue and he doesn't accept it as fact. As a person working the polls, I can assure you that at least where I am it couldn't be more secure. They follow protocol. Trust me on that.

So, I bought a 2-piece bathing suit for the Mexico trip. I haven't worn one in over 10 years. But I think I am ready. The abs are getting there-- that's my only soft spot, so I'm going for it! Tomorrow I'm going to try a guided run to keep the pace and go the distance. We'll see what happens.

Let's cheer on the Hoo Hoo Hoosiers to a V over Michigan today.

Hope all is well in your world.

"Round Here" Counting Crows

This one brings back memories for all of us, doesn't it? Don't you wish you could go back and talk to that person you were when this song came out and set them straight?

Going back to work full time leaves little time to do anything. It's just a few weeks but man, the 5 am shit gets old fast. I do get to see all walks of life and have learned a new level of patience and understanding for octogeneraians (sp). I have seen so many people I know come through the polls-- former students, parents, former colleagues, people from my gym coming out to exercise their right to vote. Record numbers-- after 10 am the line doesn't stop. It's impressive, actually.

Here's hoping we can turn shit around and make changes for the good of the people.

Hope you are well. Get out and enjoy the fall afternoons. It's perfect running weather.

Peace and Love.

"When October Goes" Barry Manilow

Barry Manilow was my first concert. I was in 7th grade and our choir teacher took a few of us to the University of Cincy to see him. Later, we sang this song in high school. Mom called it haunting. The second song of the set after "Spies in the Night." There's a confession attached to that night but I don't have time to write about it today. i sitll have the silver aspen leaf.

The leaves have a few more days until peak color, so instead, I took a few shots of the ground. Enjoy the chilly mornings before

October goes...

"Corcovado" (Quiet Nights Of Quiet Stars) Stan Getz feat. Astrud Gilberto

Getz/Gilberto

Sitting in the quiet of morning drinking my Andean Mint "muna" tea and listening to Astrud, Stan and Gilberto.

I need to get this record. Such great artwork on the cover as well.

How are you? Sometimes I miss you. Today is one of those days.

Last night was the coldest night we have had this season. Yesterday the way the sunlight played with the trees was beautiful. After the workout, I think I will bundle up and head to Brown County to check out the views. Then hit the winery for some mulled wine.

and though another season's here I feel the emptiness of Autumn all the year.

"The Sky is Crying" Gary Coleman

Not much to say this morning. My blog has been discovered by some kind of bot that has inflated my views to such a level that is unrealistic. Why does everything have to get fucked up with technology? I get so many spam calls that clog up my cell inbox that actual people can't leave messages-- my emails are nothing but spam, and now this one place where I am free to write is also ruined. It makes me want to disappear.

I've been skipping school since my last experience was trash. The money is good but the days go by so slowly and more often than not the kids are either really good or complete assholes. In one class I was discussing how I really need to become fluent in Spanish and she didn't understand why. I hear more languages walking around the halls of my school than ever. On my trip down to Peru, more people spoke Spanish on the plane to Miami than English.

Let's just hope that sheltered child never leaves her 10 mile radius. She probably lives in Bedford.

Anyway, I am off to the polls this morning. I wonder who I will meet today.

Hope all is well.

"Rust" Mon Rovia

A chill tune for early morning risers. Mon Rovia is new to me, but I like everything that I hear.

I PRed my run Sunday. To be fair, it was flat and fast, so everyone probably did too. I signed myself up for 3 more races in November and December. Every time race day comes around and I get to the starting line, I feel like I did on a big exam day when everyone around me is talking about how they didn't study for it (which is a lie) and aren't ready. Then I get passed by a power walker on the 2.5 mile marker and think what the hell?!

Remember-- it's YOUR race. We're not in this to win.

I took a long drive out to Bridgeton to take in a few covered bridges and what I found was a shit ton of people eating fair food and buying cheap crap from hundreds of vendors. My gps stopped working before I got to NEET Bridge (which wasn't all that neat) and somehow managed to get to Rockville (which I won't go back to...) before heading home. I was hoping to see more color in the leaves but I think we are two week's out before peak foliage ( I sound like I know what I'm talking about here!). I guess you can see if I'm right.

It was nice to get away and just have the sound of silence and my own thoughts on the road. Still, unless you are into a County Fair atmosphere, huge crowds of people draging around wagons full of cheap crap and fried food that will clog your arteries, I would suggest going in the off season.

How are you doing?

"Fake Plastic Trees" Radiohead

Petrichor. my favorite smell.

The rains came and with the mixing of fallen leaves it smells divine.

Well, IU pulled it off in a nail biter that made for an uncomfortable few hours.

Today I have a 5k up in Martinsville, which looks to be a flat and fast course. Not sure why I get so nervous for these things. I'm not trying to compete-- I am just doing it for the practice.

Here's what I'd rather be doing:

Uptown Downtown

Twilight

Happy Sunday to you.