'Rush Hour" Ani DiFranco

Love isn't over when the sheets are stained/ In my head there remains/ So much left to be said/ Make me laugh, make me cry, enrage me/ But just don't try to disengage me/

"When the World Is Running Down..." Police

As a teen I spent a lot of my time listening to The Police. I admired bass players and songs with a prominent bass line. Sting, Paul, Van Morrison's David Hayes, Jaco...

The Police got a lot of play time, especially when the walkman came out. In order to escape the chain smoking monster, I took to the streets of Carmel with my portable pal. Zenyatta Mondatta was my favorite. Between Sting's bass lines and Stewart's amazing drumming, I was able to release the saddness and angst that I felt most of the time.

"Driven to Tears" and "When the World is Running Down..." are the best.

I recently learned that Stewart Copeland played on Peter Gabriel's "Red Rain" and "Big Time." Those are two of the best songs on the record. Go figure.

(beat) Just watched a video about the superempath and the avoidant. It gave me some clarity and closure for how I am feeling. It's super fun to walk around trying to be positive when inside you are empty and confused and embarassed and can't explain anything to anyone because, well, just because. Hopefully the wounds will become wisdom as I move fwd more emotionally regulated. 28 days, right? Three down, 25 to go...

"The Ghost in You" Psychedelic Furs

Somehow I managed to catch a cold. I am sure that it's from all the kids that spread their germs everywhere and never wash their hands. I have zero tolerance for teenage boy antics and called a few on their shitty behavior today. I am not a fun person to be around when I'm under the weather. Still, yesterday was a typical moody Sunday with the stress of life maintenance, prep for work and my class.

It's hard to be in this space. Something shifted. And it hurts.

The irony in less screen time means less me time.

"Give it Time" Goose

Give it time/ Go ahead and give it hell/ Give it all you’ve got/ Or give it up for something else/ It’s a revelation/ It’s a hallelujah/ It’s the nature of the spirit running through ya/ So take it easy/ Just begin again/ Take a step back from the racе that you’ve been running in/ It’s the next song coming on thе radio/ Just when you need it/

The first time I heard this song I was driving to work-- it was a dark, cold February morning last year.

I was struggling with a student who had definite potential to succeed, but was checked out. A high school senior with no plan in front of him, and so far behind it would take a miracle ( or an understanding teacher) to get him across the finish line.

I found out that he was the oldest of 3, and a few years back his father was yelling at the kids for whatever odd reason--probably to clean up their messy rooms. Apparently his youngest brother, who was in middle school at the time, went to his room, closed the door, and killed himself.

James was the one to discover the body.

The whole family was wrecked by the tragedy. That certainly changes things when you know something so painful about a person. Makes you want to fight harder for them.

James didn't attend graduation, so there was no proper goodbye, good luck from me, so I never knew of his wherabouts or future plans, if he made any. I hate not having closure.

Over Christmas while dining at Michael's Uptown, I saw him with his dad. There was a sadness about the two men quietly eating in silence, but when I greeted James, he was excited to see me. He spoke of his new life-- ranching out west somewhere. His dad beamed proudly. We hugged and I left, happy for that closure.

Give it Hell, James. Give it Hell.

She broke the silence of morning and "MLK" u2

There was a shift in something this morning.

Maybe it was the obvious void of sound from a demanding cat, but no-- something else.

The birdsong has changed.

I hear the promise of spring in their song. And the sun is rising, bringing the most stunning light show. There is hope.

I seem to be outraged every time I turn on the news now. But this took the cake. Posting that video and the first week of Black History Month? My hatred for that man runs deep.So, here is a song to commemorate the memory of a great man.

Here's to a better day.

"Waiting for Superman" The Flaming Lips

I asked you a question I didn't need you to reply Is it gettin' heavy? But then I realized Is it gettin' heavy? Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be

Is it overwhelming To use a crane to crush a fly? It's a good time for Superman To lift the sun into the sky 'Cause it's gettin' heavy Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be

Tell everybody Waitin' for Superman That they should try to hold on best they can He hasn't dropped them Forgotten or anything It's just too heavy for Superman to lift

Is it gettin' heavy? Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be Tell everybody Waitin' for Superman That they should try to hold on best they can He hasn't dropped them Forgotten or anything It's just too heavy for Superman to lift

"Glass Eyes" Radiohead

I will miss you, my dear Percy.

"My Skin Is" & "Masterfade" Andrew Bird super powers and disclaimers

While I know there are newer, more user friendly platforms out there, I wanted to stay with my old reliable blogger. We have a history. But one feature I do not like about Blogger is it has no spell check. And as I write stream of consciousness style, it doesn't pick up the typos and spelling errors as I go.

I hate spelling errors.

You can't live it down being an English teacher and claiming that spelling is your Superpower and then finding glaring errors in your work--it is unacceptable. So this disclaimer serves as a blanket warning that I am not a sloppy speller. I do check my work--even if it is after the final draft has been published. And I want to thank my critical father for my perfectionist and OCD mindset for that.

Yes, this is the kind of thing that wakes me up pre dawn. More later.

Another super talented artist I love is Andrew Bird. I found him in 2004 with the album Weather Systems 2003 Foutunately for me, he played Bloomington frequently so I saw quite a few shows. Now he plays Indy--and I have tickets to see him play with the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra in April. And who doesn't like an accomplished whistler?

Take a listen.. Here's taste:

"In a manner of speaking" Tuxedomon

I wasn't going to post this song today, but as I was searching for a mood, Nouvelle Vague popped up in my feed and it brought me back to 2004. They covered THIS song by post punk band, Tuxedomon. The French collective (NV) album was a favorite of mine, covering songs in a bosa nova-lounge style. They covered lots of my favorite bands from the day-- The Cure, XTC, Joy Division, Depeche Mode and more. Some of the songs included-- "I'll Melt with You" "Love Will Tear Us Apart" "Making Plans for Nigel" "I Just Can't Get Enough""A Forest" "This is Not a Love Song"

In 2004, I just started volunteering at WFHB, and I consumed copious amounts of music at the time. My afternoon mix required me to play several new releases per hour. While processing my newly acquired Legally Separated status, music was a welcomed distraction. But songs like this one bring it all back to the surface--so raw and full of truth--and pain. That was a painful time, for sure.

I have the day off today, and I am enjoying the solitude. Time goes by at a slower and more reflective pace. All the while, the world is running around thinking that the work they do is so necessary and important. I used to be such a productive little robot too. People live their lives in a constant state of distraction. On days like this, I'm so glad I got off that fucking hampster wheel.

Take a listen to these--side by side. What do you think?

"the only thing that is more powerful than hate is love." Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio

What a powerful display of unity at the Grammy's this year. Well done, Bad Bunny and all of the rest of the artists who spoke out against tyrany and oppression.

My song today is Marc Cohen's

Dig Down Deep

Enjoy!

"Anyone who knows what love is" Irma Thomas

p.

Was looking for this song for hours today. Started the His and Hers Netflix series and--there it was. Add it to my makeout mixed tape.

"Playing with Pink Noise" Kaki King

Love watching her play. Especially this song. She is all over the guitar. The album is called Legs to Make Us Stronger, a record I wore out back in my DJ days. It is reminiscent of Michael Hedges Ariel Boundaries but more hip. Give it a listen, won't you?

Today has been a struggle to focus. The day has that old familiar Sunday Scary feeling to it. It doesn't help that I have planning to do and I'm not getting paid to do it. So I'll write instead.

Attachment is difficult for me. I don't like to get too attached to things--people, animals, things, because some day they will be gone. I guess that for people of faith--like I used to be-- there is comfort in knowing that you will see them again someday. And if there is a heaven, I know my cats will all be there waiting for me. Losing people is another level of loss that terrifies me. And as I move up the ranks in age and witness my aging, deteriorating family members in decline, I can see in relatively a few short months there will be some losses. How to cope? Detach? It's complicated because I love the shit out those who I let in. I give shamelessly to those select few.

Going through the divorce was the most painful life experience I have had. But from those hard things I learned the biggest lessons. It was necessary for my own personal growth. I look back at all the experiences I had simply because I didn't have to ask permission.

It taught me about self-reliance, accountability, and trusting myself. Living on my own really taught me how to detach. For 16 years I raised a super cool human, bought and sold my own house and condo, learned how to fix shit, had to trust my gut with big decisions, took chances and did some really cool and interesting stuff. Glad it played out the way it did.

I don't want to look back on my life with regrets. And so far-- I don't.

Have a good week.

"Under the Milky Way Tonight" The Church

Lots of sadness in my orbit tonight. I had to step away from the double overtime IU game-- but IU DEFENSE was looking the best I have seen them since at Assembly Hall just weeks ago.

Melissa is a tough chick and I can't see cancer beating her--but the prognosis doesn't look good. She was at my crazy Bachelorette Party way back in the day when I had to exchange underwear with a dude. His were a pair of forest green Polo Boxers. Mine were probably something he put on his rear view mirror for posterity.

Ok I guess IU won.

Still, my sister is sad (and she is a force) and I am well aware of our short and fleeting time on this earth. I worry about sister number 3, as she does not take care of herself and almost died from covid--her lungs were basically soup. I am not prepraed for the loss of what was my closest ally and friend growing up in a turbulant household.

I love this song. If I had a mixed tape makeout playlist, it would definitely be on it.

More on Mixed Tape Playlists to come. What songs would YOU put on the list? POFN