"Counting Stars"

I see this life like a swinging vine/ Swing my heart across the line/ And my face is flashing signs/ Seek it out and you shall find/ Old, but I'm not that old/ Young, but I'm not that bold/ I don't think the world is sold/ I'm just doing what we're told/ I feel something so right/ Doing the wrong thing/ I feel something so wrong/ Doing the right thing/ I could lie, couldn't I, could lie/ Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.

I have most of the week to do what I want, but my phone keeps alerting me to Sub jobs that try to lure me back to school.

This month I am going to work early voting at the polls. It actually pays pretty well and who knows what may come of it.

Now I am really starting to sound old! But you know what? I am really trying to embrace this new phase I'm in. It is just so weird that everyone I know is still working and I'm...not.

Especially if you knew my former self. I was a workaholic.

There was no work-life balance except for summer. And now that I have been working for different teachers, they don't do school the way I did school. In fact, most people I have worked for have it pretty easy. And mundane. No wonder they stay until they are 68.

Anyway- you have work to do-- this gym rat is late for my workout.

"Coleman Hawkins" Moonglow

Driving to the build site yesterday, the Harvest moon was impressively full, giving off an orange glow as the sun started to rise behind me.

Too bad the build wasn't as impressive--it was the last day of the 12 day build. Two houses were erected for the happy families. Our job was to do the final grunt work-- trim, cabinents, the last of the siding-- all jobs that I loathe. It was a case of no one knew how to do anything or there were too many of us on a single task. The crew head I was assigned to overexplained things and by the time we started, someone had already finished the job.

After about 30 minutes of this madness, I decided to pack up and go home. The sound of nail guns and generators was too much for me.

Instead, I opted for road tripping to a farm and winery south of Columbus, which proved to be a much better use of my time.

While the wines were less than stellar(and the pours even worse!), the grounds were a gardner's paradise with Koy ponds and gurgling fountains, brick cobblestone paths and bountiful, lush flowers as far as the eye could see.

The historic house was built in 1836 and saw some action in July of 1863 during the Civl War-- Confederate Brigadier General John Hunt Morgan led about 2,500 cavalrymen across the Ohio River into Indiana on July 8, 1863. His forces moved through southeastern Indiana, passing near neighboring communities in Jennings County like Vernon and North Vernon around July 11.

Local folklore in the Commiskey area is tied to the James Covered Bridge (located near Commiskey). A regional legend claims that a Confederate soldier from Morgan’s raid did not return south across the Ohio River and that his spirit—specifically a leg—can still be spotted hanging from the bridge's rafters.. You can read about this beautiful farm HERE.

In the end, my day turned out to be pretty nice. While I feel a little guilty bolting from the Build, it was the right choice for me. Plus, I can work on my own damn house without 25 clueless women working with power tools any time I want.

James Covered Bridge

"Thinkin About You" Flea

I know I have posted this one before, but it is worthy of a repost. I hope to play this record when I get home later today. Love the bass and trumpet (my 2 favorite instruments) together.

I am doing something I love today-- The Women's Build. It is a joy to work with my hands and help to build something with a team of empowered women. Plus, the IPA at Upland afterwards is a rare treat.

Hope you are enjoying the luscious fall weather. Must close, but Thinkin about you.

"Hold On, Hold On" Neko Case

In my single days on a whim after a long day of teaching and dj-ing, I was offered a front row ticket to see Neko Case at the bus-chumb. Still in my dress and tall boots from work, I went and had a marvelous time. The New Pornographers were also in my rotation back then.

I need to revisit.

This week has made me itchy for solitude and personal time. I forgot what it was like to be ruled by a timepiece and I don't like it.

I have exactly 7 minutes to finish this post before I get back to my routine. Looking fwd to Friday when I have the day to myself to wake later, get a full workout in and get back to the things I want to do vs. the things I have to do.

Some of my favorite shots from Peru.

Did I dream it?

vivid dream

Me @ MP

One tiny flower I'm jumpin over

"It Never Entered My Mind" Miles Davis Quintet

I'm back at work on this rainy Monday. This song captures my vibe today. It is officially fall in my book, the pool is closing on Wednesday and summer is gone. Time to start playing records and lighting candles!

I have a few minutes to write, so here goes.

So this week I am teaching ESL (or ENL as they now call it), and there are students from all over in these classes. I noted this morning when students are prompted to stand and recite the pledge of allegiance, no one did. They didn't even pause to think about it. Not sure why that surprised me but I have never witnessed that before in a classroom.

Here is a shot of a Shaman who performed a blessing on each of us in Cusco. I would have really enjoyed a full on smudging, but it was moving none the less.

Hope you are well...

Shaman

"Cedars of Lebanon" U2

I am finally getting back to "normal" after the 40 hours of travel time. 4 different flights in 2 days time: Cusco- Lima, Lima- Miami, Miami- Chicago, Chicago- Indy. Not including layovers and delays I made it home around midnight Thursday.

Cedars of Lebanon came to mind this quiet Sunday morning. There are many biblical references about strengh and purification it seemed apt to play today.

I think this will be my last day in the pool. The weather will be changing this week and cooling down to fall like temperatures. I am actually ready for it. It seems wrong to start decorating for fall and still have a foothold in summer by swimming.

If I ever get a tatoo it will be this-- the sign of the serpent (see photo below), which is part of the three sacred animal worlds. Here is a little more about what the serpent represents: Transformation and Renewal: The serpent’s ability to shed its skin symbolizes death, rebirth, and the cycles of transformation. Healing and Wisdom: The serpent embodies healing and wisdom, connecting us to the healing energies of the earth and the subconscious mind. Connection to the Unseen: It moves through the hidden depths, reminding us to explore the mysteries within ourselves and the world.

You can read a little bit more about the three scared animals worlds here.

“Send Love” Mary Chapin Carpenter

When all you've got is not enough to get you through the day

(send love) Your candles burnt down to the wick, no fuel for a flame

(send love) And every moment showing you that nothing ever stays the same (send love)

Send love

Dreams that never had a chance, they finally let you go

(send love)

Failures chalked up to happenstance, we'll never really know

(send love)

Why the scars that we keep hidden are worse than what we show (send love)

Send love

Send love without conditions, all transmissions

From messengers and servants Love by air and wire

Through storms and fire, postmarked urgent And maybe to yourself this once

To show you are deserving of Love

All my life I've never felt like I belonged (send love)

Every fix I came up with turned out wrong (send love)

And every moment called a gift suddenly was gone (send love)

Send love We move so fast we don't know where we've even been

(send love)

Some lives don't so much as start before they end

(send love)

And I'd give anything to have it back again (send love)

Send love

Send love

Send love

Love

Sending you love.

“End of the Road” Eddie Veeder Cusco

I've been listening to the soundtrack to Into the Wild (Eddie Veeder) on the long train and bus rides while taking in the amazing Andes Mountains. It is the perfect companion to the Peruvian landscapes-- and I can relate to the character in the book about being free of the societal chains that bind us to what it means to be truly alive. Work for the man until you die? No.

I'm on the last leg of the journey here in the center of Cusco, a beautiful old city. The Peruvian people are so beautiful and kind it's no wonder people from other places come here and never leave. My Great Aunt married a handsome Peruvian, but he was Catholic and after getting his green card, got the marriage annulled, leaving my aunt heartbroken. Georgous and Alone.

She never dated or remarried and died a spinster.

Yesterday's workshop showed how the beautiful colors are made for textile work. I have a new appreciation for each piece and the hours it takes to dye the alpaca and sheep wool and use the loom to create the intricate patterns. Nothing is written down, the women use math and muscle memory to create the designs.

Our group has gelled and it has been interesting listening to each traveler's journey- many echo each other, loss of a spouse, loss of a grown child by suicide, beating cancer, or just this is what they chose to do with their remaining time here.

We have heard several times in different lectures how everything is connected and nothing really is by chance. On the train up to MP I heard several stories about travelers getting lost, and just when they thought it was the end, someone or something rescued them.

That gives me great comfort.

Here's to the last 2 days in Peru! Salud!

The Old Mountain Gorillaz

I am sitting in my room, window open, just at the feet of Machu Picchu. There is a light rain falling and it is a cool 65 degrees. Every 15 minutes, like clockwork, a train passes just below my window, shuttling travelers up the mountain to see the breathtaking site of Machu Picchu.

I witnessed its magestic beauty yesterday and am forever changed.

The past four days have been transformative for me, offering fresh perpective on what it means to live, what one can do without, and a new appreciation for the Peruvian people and their land and culture.

This time has also given me a chance to meet others who understand and value traveling to distant places in order to make more sense of the world.

l am by far the youngest in the group of solo travelers and the least traveled, some people here have done over 19 trips with RS and have seen the world twice over.

No doubt that will be me in ten years, as travel to me is as essential as nurishnent to our body; it is nurishnent to my soul.

El Nino has played a hand in this unusually wet period, and we will have to trapse to the bus station in the cold drizzle. To me, it is a beautiful blessing to commune here with other believers in lost civilizations and wonderous sites.

i wouldn't want it any other way.

Lima

Well, after 20 hours of travel, I made it to Lima. I'm running on 3 hours of sleep and can really feel it this morning.

As the cab drove to my hotel, he had the windows down, allowing a cool mist to permeate the air. The Pacific Ocean waves were crashing on the shore, their white foam visible even in the dark night.

I was surprised at the number of people out so late on a Wednesday at 11:00PM. And the chaos of driving?! just like in Cairo, it's a free for all. Everyone is honking, there are near misses and side swipes as the drivers muscle their way through traffic with basically no lanes.

Now that it is light, looking out my hotel window, there is a similar sketchy quality to the city. Not quite as bad as in Egypt, but definitely not a place i'll be walking by myself.

Soon I will head down and meet the group. At breakfast I saw two women who are on tour. This part is hard for me- getting to know you, small talk stuff. I'm going to try my best to connect.

Today we ride to Chorrillis then the ruins of Huaca Pucllana and then downtown Lima.

After that it will be Pisco Sour time!

Peruvian Flute Music

Happy Labor Day.

It is currently 44 degrees in Cusco, 65 degrees in Lima and 61 degrees here at home. I have forgotten what chilly weather feels like after the week plus heat wave we endured here in Indiana.

So much for sweater weather.

Soon.

I am down to a few hours before the trip and the nerves are starting to kick in. It's one thing to travel to a different city in the states-- a completely different thing to explore a different country and culture. I wonder if the Spanish will come back to me. Hope so, because when I get back to the states I am teaching ESL for a week!

I haven't been sleeping as the worry about travel woes creep into my thoughts. It is never about danger but more about missing a flight, not having all the details ironed out or forgetting something important. Sometimes I even ask myself why did I want to do this in the first place. "You're way too adventurous," says a colleague of mine. I suppose once the wanderlust fades for me that will be the beginning of the end.

There was a movie that came out in the early 90's (Alive) and was recently remade (Society of the Snow) about a Uruguayan rugby team that crashed their plane in the Andes Mountains. I found the 1993 version of the crash (even if technology wasn't as good as today) terrifying and had a hard time flying for a few years after. Now, here I am, going to the very place the crash occurred.

Here comes the Rabbit hole again...

ON a different subject, The scale won't budge for me. I have been sitting at 119.0 for about 2 weeks now. The training has slowed due to work and home projects, but the discipline is still there. Another worry about travel is losing what I have worked so hard to achieve in the gym. Remember-- this is a bucket list trip. There will be time when you get home to train.

So much to do before I go..adios mi amigo.

"Two Worlds" Daniel Lanois fm Belladonna

I took these decaying magnolia shots when I was out west somewhere. Not sure why I adore flowers as they start to die, petals falling and the colors darkening. It reminds me of the New Order album cover for Power, Corruption and Lies.

Today's music (Daniel Lanois and his steel guitar sound)reminds me of the southwest. Maybe even Mexico with the song titles. When I paint I like to play music--especially instrumental albums like this one. Some of the songs are haunting, like "Oxaca". I usually have to skip that one out of fear of losing myself in sadness. Take a listen to the whole album if time permits.

How is the healing coming along, I wonder? Moving in slow motion? My guides are asking me to elevate and be prepared to expand to what I was called to do. Easier said than done.

The water is calling and I will be poolside in just a few short hours.

Be well.

"You Go to My Head" Chet Baker

This weekend's Glamping was a chill experience with time to sit by a campfire and listen to some jazz greats like Chet Baker.

I especially like this song not just for the liquor references but because I sang it as an audition piece long ago.

You go to my head/And you linger like a haunting refrain/And I find you spinning round in my brain/Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne.

I read about Chet in But Beautiful. Didn't realize he was such a womanizer. I guess you never can tell... I would have been a fool for Chet as well. What a tortured soul. Sigh. I loved how the book described his loathsome attitude toward conversations. I can relate.

It's a trip to read about an artist while listening to them play. But I've started to make a practice of it recently. I have been enjoying the last days of summer in solitude reading poolside. It seems to be the only time in my day I am not in perpetual motion or feel compelled to DO something.

And sometimes I just sit in silence--listening to the angry sound of migrant hummingbirds flitting above my head competing for food at the feeders or leaves falling and thinking of the final scene from The Great Gatsby when Jay Gatsby (in his striped suit) gets shot while floating on a raft in his pool music playing...

I hope you are well.