I gave myself permission to cry today.
Grieving is hard to do without explaining why, without being able to explain why. To anyone.
It seemed appropriate that I woke up thinking of Lyle Lovett songs, as he evokes all of the feelings. A song from my first wedding and how I failed it. The deep well of loss and regret. The empty void left from the silence. The heaviness that I feel and I can't discern it from wanting to puke.
I'm sitting at a table of people talking and I can't hear a thing anyone is saying...I am suspended in this place of ick
Just make it all stop.
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