Good song, great lyrics-- a message for us all. Onward, forced through what is next/ And only for the benefit of somebody else/ Stubborn, I refuse to ask for help/ The only expense is just the debt to myself/
This will break/ I just can't/ So I will burn the other end/
Guilty, resenting what I've done/ Traded everything I love for what I have become/ It's wasted, no wonder I'm afraid/ Always struggling to justify the sacrifice I've made/
Well, shit has been busy. And it is stupid hot outside. I have to drive to Muncie in a few hours and I have not been doing my readings. You could say I have a case of the "fuck-its."
Going to Lutheran funerals are pretty churchy. But what is the saying? You can take the girl out of church, but you can't take the church out of the girl? Church is like a soft, comfy t-shirt that when you put it on, you feel content. I was glad to be there, singing the songs, saying the mantras and creeds I knew by heart.
My uncle was a better man than I remembered. And I think that as we get closer to the sand leaving the top of the hourglass, something changes. Our days are numbered and its really only our will that stands between what we have here and what comes next.
Godspeed.
I feel like I am 45 again.
The long bike rides have been a meditative journey and I can fly-- feeling like the young teenager riding my bike on hot summer nights out with friends through cornfields and creekbeds.
I am free in those moments to think and to connect with the road. The swimming has also been a gift, and my knees are finally allowing for longer workouts in the pool. I was able to do a short run today, but didn't want to push it. Still, I feel better than I have in over 10 years. It's been worth every lap, every mile, every rep, every hour in the gym.
I'm starting a new blog. Maybe going in a different direction-- not sure. There's just so much on here from the past that doesn't serve anymore.
I looked back at my photos and found the scale from October 31, 2024. I was 154.7 pounds. And that was a good day.
Today I am 121.2
