Clenched Soul

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.

*****

Last night as the wind was howling outside
And I thought my shingles were going to fly off the roof,
My car tip over and the screens fly off,
I tried hard to think of things I enjoy.
Instead of dwelling on being cold in my bed
Scared and alone,
The quiet of the house and the ticking of the clock
My only company.

I tried not to think of others who
Have someone to go home to
Who are welcomed
And waited up for…
Who are missed and wanted and needed.
Their kisses warm and soft skin and smell like a familiar blanket.

Still, as I turned out the light
I could warm myself with the thought
That I can survive on my own
By myself.
I can make it and am strong enough
I can do this life by myself.

But who wants to?
Not much of an exchange for companionship
or happiness
or honesty
or anything that truly matters.


So there is
Summertime
Solitude
The smell of the earth in springtime
Warm days and cool water
Hard work and a cold beer
Traveling to far away places after earning your way
Paying off bills that you worked for yourself
230 pm on the last day of school
The promise of love
The promise of love
The promise of love
The promise of love