Today is July 22nd. I flip to my calendar and see that I have about 3 weeks left.
I had several goals set out for this summer, one of which was to cleanse myself of relationships that weren't working and find someone new. And I am half way there.
My heart is closed to the past and open to the future.
Sometimes I feel the winds of change just around the corner. I see a glint of possibility only to watch them retreat and disappear. Then the measuring stick of comparison comes out. I watch everyone around me happily coupling off, taking fabulous trips and doing exciting things.. and I remain solo. As if asking someone to go out with me isn't hard enough, it is worse to be rejected over and over again.
So, I stopped asking.
I am trying to look forward to an event planned that will be fun. But things just don't seem all that exciting knowing I will be going alone. As much as I love the adventure, I am weary of traveling by myself.
Still, after 2 disastrous trips with guys, I vowed that I won't do that again until he is the right one. THE one.
It has been a disappointing summer on many levels. I suppose this was the summer to let go of the people that were going nowhere in my life and make way for the new.
If only fate could speed up that process.
If only....
