my little jester (and sister becca)

So much happening in my world. Bon Voyage to Josh in Japan, Ann in Africa, Ben in Israel and Becky in DC. I just got a new camera (this photo is still the disposible camera.) Better shots to come....

ok, some new shots with the Nikon. What a difference!



raintree



hot summer howlin' with my babe abe




sweet protector



a grave man

"Flee Immorality" --2 posts in 2 days!

That was today's warning from the Church of Christ on Second Street.

I have been spending a lot of time talking to strangers or partial aquaintances over coffee. Men mostly. The age of these folks range from mid-30's to 50's. Fascinating. What people know. What people are willing to discuss on the street with a non-threating looking person like me. Sometimes they are embarrased about having to smoke. Sometimes they think they know more than me. Most times I could care less what they think, other times I am riveted-- always I am interested in how they present themselves.

I marvel at how one man is looking for perfection in a woman.. "a saint, with model beauty and a scientist's brain." And yet he fails to recognize his own shortcomings. And why would she pick up with you? I would love to ask, but I nod and smile, sip my latte and remind him to look in the mirror.

At this upscale bar I frequent I am often greeted by a caustic Marine. "Married twice-- none of 'em took," is how he puts it. He is an opinionated pig. He drinks Guiness. I love to banter with him, our voices occasionally raising too loud in heated discussion the barkeep looks at me as to say, "don't push his buttons--we don't need a scene." Ok Victor, we'll wrap it up for now.

Today was this guy I call "The Suit". Hails from Houston. Three cups of black coffee in less than an hour. Socially inept or just extremely uncomfortable in his skin. He doesn't get out much. Maybe I made him nervous. I am sure there's a story behind that one.

I am not interested in any of these men. I do enjoy sitting beside them as a pretty young lady breezes past to witness their animal reaction. I like to drink with them, to laugh with them, to fight with them, but would never go home with them.
Besides,
Michael Caine is more my speed (only 40 years younger, please.)
Seeking a modern day Michael Caine..smart, funny, hard-working, well-read, gentleman, insightful, musical, sensitive, passionate, earthy...does he exist in my world? I'll try Brown County today...

Bad Moon Arising

My sister being a faithful Wicca reminded me yesterday of the summer solstice today. "We are trying to get pregnant so meditate on that tonight."
She is approaching 40 this Thanksgiving. Another child would be a blessing (and first child) for her and relief for me, the black sheep with the most fertile loins, apparently.
I cringe every time there is a national (or Halmark) holiday because that means I am expected to attend family gatherings at the Springer home and endure the slow torture that comes from German-Lutheran guilt. It takes years away from my already fading life force, let me tell you.

So, all my blessings to you dear sis and beloved brother in law, may this pregnant cancer of a moon spew its solstice splendor your way. At least someone is getting some action, an how.

I am struggling. Yeah, really this time. Just can't beat it. Finished a book Friday. Started a new one Saturday--went to bed at 5:30 after watching Lost In Translation (again) trying to revisit my journey last year. Also a William H. Macy sleeper called The Wool Cap. I needed something to push off the boredom.

The radio has been good for me--but also reminding me of all the shows coming to town (The Moaners tomorrow, Great Lake Swimmers Wednesday) but this requires cash and a will to go-with no friends--lots of energy for me these days. It's that evil paradox--going crazy alone at home--going crazy alone out in public. Today I sat in a dusty booth for over an hour eyes glazed over, until the waitress asked with honest concern in her lilting voice, "Can I get you something, ma'am? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, how about a revolver?" ha ha. ( have also learned that if you don't put that ridiculous ;) face after a comment like that, people FREAK OUT. They think you are serious--like I would say that out LOUD-- It stupifies, honestly.)

I hate air-conditioning. But living by the highway I can't sleep with the sound of cars and ambulances and motorcycles and low riders and woofers and subwoofers booming all night. So 9:03p.m....
And then there is trying to decide whether Indiana should go with Chicago or the east coast?? Oh My God.

I gotta get out of here before it kills me.

"Abstain from Fornication"

read the cheap road sign outside a church near my apartment. I'll bet they had to look up fornication. I laugh every morning when I drive by to see what the new warning is. Makes me want to turn around and pull in the driveway, HELL YEAH!

Another billboard in town has a picture of an American soldier and his kids that reads, "Glad You are home Brett. Serving GOD and his country."
Stuff like that give Christians a bad name. Let's rub it in everyone's face a little more. Now that makes me want to run out and join the troops AND the church immediately.
*****

Pat pat pat pat, the steady sound of footfalls on cinder. It's quiet. I focus on breathing-filling the stomach full and deep. As I breathe, the sweet smell of pine blows past. Pat pat pat pat, breathe.
It's Sunday morning and all is glorious. Just me and the cinder. I love the rhythmic sound and the timing. After awhile muscle memory takes over and I drift off in my mind to different places.

I snap on the swim cap and create a suction with my ears. The goggles are always too tight, but it's a sacrifice to see clearly under the water. I love the harsh smell of chlorine on the skin and in the nostrils long after.
The first solo push from the wall underwater is refreshing. Silent. Calm.
Breathe out. A long glide underthe water, I smile, happy that I understand the technique and that I no longer have to think about it. I come up for air, the water gliding off my cap and hairless body, I resubmerge and feel the great power in my legs in the release. Soon the black arrow serves a gentle reminder of the end of the pool--I breathe once more and go into the flip turn, something that took years to master. Now with the long stretch of water before me, I am in my element.