8/30/2008

a better one...

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me
(that's all I ask of you honey)
Take a chance on me

We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together
Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better
'cos you know I've got
So much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm alone with you
It's magic
You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair
But I think you know
That I can't let go

"If I Fell"

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you, oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too, oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
cause I couldn't stand the pain
and I would be sad if our new love was in vain

so I hope you see that I
would love to love you
and that she will cry when she learns we are two.




If I fell in love with you

8/26/2008

languishing soul

This restless feeling, this anxious unresolve inside.. it sometimes turns to anger and frustration with fate and destiny or being a victim of circumstance.

4 tuesdays, 22 days...

I ask the universe, "where is my love?"
How much longer must I wait?



back to when harry met sally....

8/24/2008

change is gonna come

It's that time of year again. Sure, it may be 93 degress and so humid you must take a shower after going down to the mailbox, but the change is coming.

First of all, everything smells different. It's almost as if the trees and grass and flowers know that autumn is coming. Like a dog looking for his familiar sniffs while walking, I too have those places I look for in my daily run: the Sycamore tree smell, the moist smells of decaying plant matter, the Pine trees, dewy morning smells, late night smells, pool smell, fresh cut meadow. The smells of summer soothe me and linger for months without much change.

I like that. Summer to me symbolizes so many things. Most of all it represents constancy and freedom. I delight in knowing today will be 89 degrees and sunny, tomorrow will be 89 degrees and sunny, the next day and the next. Indefinitely. I suppose nature is more constant than my relationships, so I cling to the one constant I know.

But whether due to the heat and humidity, the drought or the sun setting earlier now, the leaves are starting to change and fall. I crunch them under my feet as I run and cringe. Change is coming.

Most people love the fall and the many picturesque changes that come with it. I must admit that next to April, October is the second hardest month to endure. In fact, I think it is now the hardest month for me....

October seems to represent so many different things: marriages, birthdays, parties, romantic encounters, cool holidays, etc. But it for me symbolizes the loss of all of those things, those memories and those people. Add the leaves falling and the death of summer, and it's a crappy combination for me.

I see it coming every year and feel the same each time. And it's coming.
Someone I spoke with this week was talking to me about time being the best healer. He was right for the most part, in that it takes time to get myself on the other side of losing things. But nothing changes the fact that every year at this time all of those lost things creep back into my consciousness and I go through each death once again.