they are tilling the fields,
Skylarks singing.
-Kobayashi Issa
lillyHello Blog-o-sphere. Long time no talk.
Sometimes life gets in the way of writing and that has been the case for me.
The older I get, the more I realize that my life is so insignificant that there is no purpose in putting my thoughts out there in the first place. Unfortunately, it doesn’t change the fact that there are a few things that have been difficult….(let me put the pesto and peas down a sec).
I received a Fulbright Hays from the University of Arizona for a 4-week study in Cyprus called Teach Cyprus. Only 12 people were selected to participate in the process-- Pre-service teachers thru 16. I was honored and excited beyond words--something that I had been actively seeking and anticipating for several months.
Unfortunately due to the cost of the trip and the short time I had to accept the Fulbright, I had to give it up. My parents were less than supportive in the opportunity; I had no help from administration at my school. To exert the energies needed to gather necessary funds to pay for a funded grant seemed assinine to me--so I declined.
I have to let the resentment I feel towards the above go. It will do me little good holding on to the feelings. The opportunity will not come my way again--so I must remind myself there must be something really important coming this summer that is keeping me from doing this.
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I have let myself down again thinking that spending time with someone whom I thought was a quality person turned out to be nothing more than a sham. I think I have given up on that whole dynamic of my life. Sadly, too, as it was the main reason I am here this time around.
Just means another lifetime to figure out how in the world to create and maintain personal relationships with like-minded people. I honestly give up.
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Lilly turns three on Monday. This time of year reminds me of the year she was born, all the feelings I was feeling at that time, how I cherished my friendships, and how one kind gesture from a friend remains with me still… it is, indeed, the hardest--absolutely the hardest month.
I hope you are well.
the president's garden in april
outside the lilly library, i.u. bloomington campus
