Bad Moon Arising

My sister being a faithful Wicca reminded me yesterday of the summer solstice today. "We are trying to get pregnant so meditate on that tonight."
She is approaching 40 this Thanksgiving. Another child would be a blessing (and first child) for her and relief for me, the black sheep with the most fertile loins, apparently.
I cringe every time there is a national (or Halmark) holiday because that means I am expected to attend family gatherings at the Springer home and endure the slow torture that comes from German-Lutheran guilt. It takes years away from my already fading life force, let me tell you.

So, all my blessings to you dear sis and beloved brother in law, may this pregnant cancer of a moon spew its solstice splendor your way. At least someone is getting some action, an how.

I am struggling. Yeah, really this time. Just can't beat it. Finished a book Friday. Started a new one Saturday--went to bed at 5:30 after watching Lost In Translation (again) trying to revisit my journey last year. Also a William H. Macy sleeper called The Wool Cap. I needed something to push off the boredom.

The radio has been good for me--but also reminding me of all the shows coming to town (The Moaners tomorrow, Great Lake Swimmers Wednesday) but this requires cash and a will to go-with no friends--lots of energy for me these days. It's that evil paradox--going crazy alone at home--going crazy alone out in public. Today I sat in a dusty booth for over an hour eyes glazed over, until the waitress asked with honest concern in her lilting voice, "Can I get you something, ma'am? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, how about a revolver?" ha ha. ( have also learned that if you don't put that ridiculous ;) face after a comment like that, people FREAK OUT. They think you are serious--like I would say that out LOUD-- It stupifies, honestly.)

I hate air-conditioning. But living by the highway I can't sleep with the sound of cars and ambulances and motorcycles and low riders and woofers and subwoofers booming all night. So 9:03p.m....
And then there is trying to decide whether Indiana should go with Chicago or the east coast?? Oh My God.

I gotta get out of here before it kills me.