"Suddenly Last Summer" The Motels

This song plays a lot on my new wave station and I am grateful for that. While I always took the song at face value, this time I decided to look up the meaning behind the lyrics and was surprised at what I found.

I ended up going down a rabbit hole, but eventually landed on THIS MUSIC BLOG that breaks the song and the video down quite nicely.

I learned (how did I NOT know this about one of my favorite playwrights?) Tennessee Williams wrote a one-act, "Suddenly Last Summer" is called "a dark psychological Southern Gothic tale.. It centers on a wealthy matriarch (Violet) trying to bribe a doctor into performing a lobotomy on her niece (Catharine--spelled the same way too!) to silence the sordid, terrifying truth about the mysterious death of her son (Sebastian)."

Lead Singer Martha Davis said there was no correlation to the play (Williams died in 1983, the same year the song came out). "'Suddenly Last Summer' percolated for years. The song, written after her parents had died — her mom by suicide and her dad from illness — is a reflection on those moments in life when things are changing, like when it’s a beautiful sunny day and a cold wind blows and you know the end of summer is coming."

Of course Hollywood got hold of it and in 1959 came out with the film (screenplay by Gore Vidal).

I think I'll stick with the play.

You can take the lyrics any way you want.

But... Suddenly Last Summer

"Goodbye Hello" The Beatles

I am feeling so much today. It has been nice to have a few days of solitude to just sit with everything. I'm not sure if watching Stephen Colbert all week has made me a tad weepy, or the ending of school and now feeling like I have no purpose and need to figure it out yesterday...

I wonder how Stephen feels right now, actually.

You say goodbye, and I say hello.

It would be too convenient for something to just fall into my lap. But damn, it would be nice.

Then I found this-- I could relate for the most part, but the end was what got me:

I was standing in the kitchen, looking at a list I had made for the weekend. Meals. Activities. Who was coming over. What everyone would enjoy. I had done this for years without thinking about it. I was the one who made things happen. The one who made sure everyone else had a good time. And suddenly… I didn’t want to anymore. Not because I didn’t care. But because I realized I hadn’t been part of the fun in a long time. I was organizing it. Managing it. Making sure it worked. But I wasn’t really in it. So I said something out loud that felt strange even as I said it. “I don’t want to be the one in charge of the fun this summer.” There was a pause. And then I added, “I want to enjoy it too.” It sounds small. But it wasn’t.

Because for years, that role had quietly become part of who I was. Chief planner. Chief coordinator. Chief everything.

And stepping back from it felt uncomfortable. Almost like I was letting something slip. But here’s what surprised me. The more I let go, the more I started to notice what I actually wanted. Not what worked for everyone else. Not what filled the time. But what felt good to me. Some days it was simple. A walk. A quiet morning. Saying no without explaining it.

Other days it meant letting someone else take the lead. Even if they didn’t do it the way I would have. Especially then. It hasn’t been easy. There are moments where I still want to jump back in and take over. Moments where doing less feels like I’m doing something wrong. But I’m starting to see something I didn’t see before.

How much of my life had been shaped by roles I never questioned.

And how easy it is to carry those roles straight into this next chapter… without realizing it.

This phase isn’t just about having more time. It’s about noticing how you’re using it. And whether you’re still living inside patterns that no longer fit.

So I’ve been asking myself something I didn’t used to ask. Not what needs to get done. But where I actually want to be. And what I want that to feel like. I’m still figuring it out. But I know this part is true. I don’t want to just create the life around me anymore. I want to be inside it. What role have you been playing for so long… you forgot to ask if you still want it?