Splinters

Ah. Early morning. I woke before dawn, did my yoga and made it to school by 6:55.
it's going to be a great day.
an old friend called me last night out of the blue. We recklessly toured Europe together back in the early 90's, hitting all the main locales in his piece of shit beamer. God, those were some wild, eye-opening times. How strange that I just entered a piece about losing memories and people---but the minute we talked, they all came streaming back into my mind. He was a bright guy, army brat, wrestler with a delicate frame. What is it about wrestlers? I think I have dated at least 4.
Anyway, he would have made a great politician. Good to talk with you again Bruce.

I don't know if it is age or experience but I am feeling so much more in tune with things these days. Unfortunately, along with clarity, I have lost the lofty idea of romantic love, I won't allow people in anymore. Love is disease and once infected, you are helpless. There is no remedy or relief except fateful time---waiting for it to die, waiting for the feelings to wilt and decompose, watching the body wither and groan and become worthless.

The good times are so few and fleeting that I wonder why we even put forth the energy--when ultimately we know it is doomed to fail.

Fortunately for me, I have the strength of 10,000 men. Now that I know better, I will never go to that place again. It would take a miracle. A fucking miracle.