"Blue and Wonder"

The downtown lights looked so beautiful last night with the snow falling. My little town was abandoned--and I could slink along, occasionally sqinting my eyes to make the christmas lights blur into a mess of light and color all around me.

It's nice to know what I am doing for New Year's Eve. I hate the dreaded holiday, especially since I don't spend much time with other people these days...
so 10 pm chanting and meditation, a sleep over and cold shower with almond oil followed by 3:45 am Sadhana. May the longtime sun shine upon you!

and finally..hitting home lyrics from the 1999 Bloomed album:

i've been stunned
and I've been turned
i've been undone and burned
i saw you as the answer to
years of blue and wonder
your voice shakes me through
but you don't know what I might be
you haven't seen the worst of me
but when your eyes move up I'm silent

**so put your arms around me
and pull your mouth up to mine
and what's that word
i forget sometimes
it's the one that means
the love has left your eyes

i'm thinking now when I first knew
i was lying with a stranger
you were curled up with a paper
in your little SOMA room
the telephone was pouring blue
and when I hung up with you
i was sick and sad and wished I had
a kiss to bring you over
**

i'm wondering of you now
and what happened to you
i remember words
that were said and sighed and written
but I hear things, you know
i hear the bottle broke us down
but not a word from you yet
and there's things that
even a drunk will never forget
**

I first heard the album at SOMA (how appropriate) and asked Irine, the coffeeshop girl, who the artist was...that was two years ago.

Most of my records went back to tracks for a resell my annual purging--and I remember pausing while holding this one before putting it back in the shelves. This was my favorite song. "Gauzy Dress" always had me thinking about pretty, young, flirty girls with long brown hair--none of which I am, so feeling yucky and inadequate I would usually fwd through that track. SAT-NAM And so it goes. And so it goes. Sat-Nam.