winter solstice

As you hear of me, so think of me.
I kiss your hand, and so I leave you. Farewell.."
Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick, Act IV, scene ii

Today is the winter solstice and it is going to snow starting at midnight. Could we ask for anything more? Ok, there is that Peace on Earth thing..

Not sure what to write today--I am feeling so disconnected from others. I've been thinking seriously about finding another job for many reasons. I am to the point where I feel that I have to hide out, that having a voice and an opposing opinion, that going against the majority gets me put out like the cat. So, I rebel, trying to stand up for myself, and it just makes everything worse. Not to mention I have no one at work that I feel comfortable just being with noone I can be myself around--the rest ignore me and now they think I am a real freak.

When everything has been stripped from you, everything that matters, it makes you seriously do some reprioritizing. Take away my work, my purpose, friends,take away my family, take away my pride, even my sanity--what is there? The alienation I feel at work is just beyond uncomfortable; beyond bearable anymore. I am a fighter--but this one, this one, I just don't know if it's worth the fight.

So I am thinking of you all but I know you don't care, or don't want to know. I have a heart and a soul. I have feelings. I will always love you--unconditionally.